The HoleHog FAQ

The Hole Hog FAQ

Is Hole Hog the oldest living band in rock and roll?

Is there an actual pig in the band?

What does the song “The Bad News Bears go to Japan,” really


and many, many more…

Is Hole Hog really the oldest living band in rock and roll?

The living rock and roll “entity” that has evolved into Hole Hog came into

existance in a marsh, near what is now Oxford England, in the year 12 BC. In

fact, most bands are not living entities at all, but corporate entities set

up by Martha Stewart’s Living Inc., heretofore known as the “shadow

government.” If another band can definitively prove that their band has a

“life force” and the said “life force,” came into existance before 12 BC,

then Hole Hog will end it’s use of the phrase “oldest living band,”

and change the motto to something equally catchy like, “Hoggin’ Holes

Since 12 BC.”

So there is an actual porkine creature in the band?

In so much as there are any actual members of Hole Hog, no. The Hole Hog
entity itself would be very offended by suggestions that it is a “porkine
creature,” like many entities of it’s age, it’s bloody sensitive about it’s

What is the relationship of the band Hole Hog to the mechanical “Hole

HogTM” product available at fine stores

The members of Hole Hog are proud owners and operators of a series of Hole

HogTM machines and often use them on their
regular weekend treasure hunting and

fence mending retreats. The band Hole Hog has no relation to the fantastic

Hole HogTM machine, nor claims any tradmark
that may overlap.

I’m interested in “following” Hole Hog, how can I get a season franchise on

a “Hole Hog” rice and beans stand to finance my fanatical obsession?

Hole Hog Rice and Beans consessions are available directly from Martha

Stewart’s Living Inc., call her at home at 555-555-5666, or email

Those interested in a Rice and Beans internship, should also contact

Martha, if you know what I mean.

I heard there was some tension in the band following the dissolution of

Blue Numbers and the heart churning departure of Dave from Hole Hog, are

you guys OK?

Both Dave and Scott remain board members of the collective. The

traditionalTM Hole Hog mourning rituals are now
over, and Hole Hog has

regained it’s ability to live and love like normal


Hole Hog has a lot of songs about food. Are any of you Taruses, like pop-stars

Salvador Dali, Weird Al Yancovic, Attorney General John Ashcroft or Chibo Mato?

Yes, Jim and Toby where both “born under the sign of the bull,” and would

sing about food morning noon and night if only society would accept such

things. Ironicly the Hole Hog entity is a Virgo, by modern astrological

reconing, but there is some question due to stellar drift since 12 BC. More

likely, Hole Hog IS a Taurus and Jim and Toby are actually Libras.

I’ve often wondered what the song “The Bad News Bears go to Japan,” really

means, will you tell me?

The very fact that you would ask such an idiotic question means you do not

currently “understand” the Hole Hog message, and probaby never will.

You guys don’t wear cowboy hats, do you?

The Hole Hog does not belive in hats, therefore the members of Hole Hog are
barred from any public display of headgear of any description, with hair
being the obvious exception. In a word, Hole Hog is a hair band.

What if I have a question for Hole Hog, where can I turn?

Send your questions and comments directly to the great hole hog entity:

  1. Go to a quiet part of your home, workplace, or favorite pub

  2. Close your eyes

  3. Clear your mind of thoughts

  4. Imagine yourself in communication with the Hole Hog entity

  5. Psychically send the Hole Hog your question

… or, if that doesn’t work post a comment on this site… maybe the HoleHog will read it?

About T Hog

Lead Guitarist